He Won't Want To See Me
by misswhiteblack
Summary: Black Brothers Fic :: I just wanted to impress him, to show him how good I had become ... It's just an added bonus that she happens to be watching.


Today is the day. My first Quidditch match. I've been waiting to get on the team since I was able to join in second year and yet it wasn't until this, my fifth year that I was finally on the team, as a seeker. Now you see that makes me nervous, being a seeker. It's not that I don't think that I'm good at the position or that I didn't get the job on skill. It's just that being the Slytherin Seeker in a match against Gryffindor for my first match wasn't my idea of fun. After all the Gryffindor line up is pretty good. I should know, my brother is one of their beaters and his best friend is the Gryffindor seeker. As much as I hate to admit it, James Potter is good and so is my brother. Although it isn't just their involvement that makes the Gryffindor team so good. After all, they've also got Fabian and Gideon Prewett, a beater and chaser respectively. So it isn't all that hard to see why I'm nervous. It wasn't like we practiced much. What with Gideon Prewett as the Gryffindor captain and Potter just dying to take over from him it was kind of difficult to get the pitch. I know we haven't a hope in hell of beating them. I'd love to catch the snitch but Potter can certainly fly and he's the best seeker in the school. I don't know why I am giving them so much credit. I suppose that, unlike my teammates, I'm not arrogant enough to assume that we'll win just because we're all purebloods. Thinking about purebloods I wonder if Malfoy is aware that Snape is actually half-blood. Well, I'm not going to tell him. Malfoy is already a death eater I am sure. It won't be long until I follow in his footsteps. Not that following Malfoy's footsteps is something to be proud of. I would rather be with my brother but he became such an arrogant jerk with Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew. He just didn't seem like my carefree brother any more. Although the pranks he pulled with his friends and the amount of trouble he got into after were definitely true to his character.

'Just catch the snitch all right?' sneered Malfoy in my face suddenly.

I realised that I hadn't been paying attention to the pre-game pep talk. Not that I had expected anything better from Malfoy. He didn't care about anyone, not even his girlfriend, my cousin, Narcissa. I looked around at the empty faces in the changing room with me. Blair Zambini, Aro Greengrass, Marcus Bullstrode, Jonas McNoughton and Campbell Formacus were all the other members of my team. I could feel my heart pounding. I was allowed to be nervous. It was my first game after all. I knew that my girlfriend Aquila Wilkes was sitting in the crowd. However, she wasn't the one I was nervous about. It was my brother I was nervous about. He hadn't seen me fly since I was about ten and I had got a lot better since then.

'Come on then,' huffed Malfoy and we all rose to follow him out of the changing room. The smug pompous git.

Being in the air was thrilling. I just sat high above the game watching carefully. My brother was battering bludgers everywhere, distracting all the Slytherin's. As he smacked one over to Malfoy nearly knocking him off his broom I saw him grin triumphantly down into the crowd. Yet he wasn't looking at the Gryffindor supporters but instead at the Ravenclaws. I turned to look. My sharp eyes picked her out right away and my heart leapt into my throat. She was standing with her twin brother grinning up as she watched her best friends playing. Merlin, she was beautiful. She affected me like Aphrodite affected the Greeks. She was my brother's friend, Potter's best friend. I think I've loved her since the first day I saw her.

_I was late for Potions and I was running inside from where I had been sitting on the front steps enjoying the light drizzle. Suddenly, I was knocked off my feet and I ended up on the floor tangled with someone with thick, brown curls. I could feel breath upon my neck before the person rolled off me. I sat up and looked straight into striking emerald eyes. It seemed like forever that I looked into those eyes before I wrenched my gaze away._

'_Watch where you're going,' I said gruffly getting to my feet as she rose too. She didn't seem bothered by my rudeness as she shook out her hair. It gave me a chance to take in the full lips and the high cheekbones. The robes she wore were marked with the Ravenclaw crest. Then she looked at me again and I found myself practically falling into those striking eyes. I saw them wander all over me._

'_I'd know who you are anywhere,' she said grinning at me suddenly._

_The grin surprised me. It held mischief in it. It seemed so different from my first impression of her. I had thought she would be the kind of girl that would eventually become a perfect._

'_You're Regulus Black, aren't you?' she asked me._

_I nodded slowly slightly confused. How did this girl know who I was and why was she even talking to me? All of the other houses hated Slytherins._

'_You look so like you're brother.'_

She had skipped off after that, the picture of carefree happiness. I think I loved her from that moment on. I eventually found out why we had collided that day. She had a habit of sliding down the banisters. Even when I found out that she was Serena White it didn't change how I felt about her. My mother would be completely horrified if she had known. After all, she had completely freaked when she had found out that my brother even knew who she was. I didn't want to freak out my mother. She had enough to deal with Sirius.

Suddenly my eyes picked out the snitch and I went straight into a dive. I could sense Potter somewhere near me, trying to get passed me. I lowered further towards the broomstick urging it to go faster. Faster, faster I urged. I really wanted this. Having seen her there in the crowd I wanted to impress her. Unlike my brother she actually spoke to me like a human-being. I wanted to impress them both. I wanted to show them just how good I was. Potter was gaining on me. He was almost at my knee. I could see the snitch glittering near the stands almost right in front of her face. I'd probably never have seen it if it hadn't be fluttering near her. I didn't want to startle her or even perhaps crash into her but I couldn't stop now. The wind was rushing through my hair and I getting closer and closer. I could see her face quite clearly. She was watching me. The smile on her face and I managed to ignore her eyes switching between me and Potter. Suddenly her face changed and I could see her mouth move to shout something.

A bludger came out of nowhere and hit me in the arm. I heard a sickening snap from my right arm. I was falling to the side and Potter swerved to avoid me. I could see her face as I fell, her wand in her hand, as she shouted something. As I fell dim realisation came over me. My brother had shot that my way. My own brother.

I woke up in the hospital wing lying against the crisp white sheets. Madam Pomfrey was fussing over someone else in the corner. I was alone. There was evidence of my friends having been to see me with chocolate and sweets sitting on the bedside table and a few cards, one rather large one which I thought was probably from Aquila. She was getting a bit clinging to be honest. Not that there was much I could do about that at the moment. My parents wouldn't be happy if we were to break up. They had been thrilled when we had got together. The Wilkes family were a well respected, pureblood family. Still … I wasn't lacking in other female admirers. I suppose in that way I was quite like my brother. Although I didn't get accosted in the hallways like he did on numerous occasions.

Madam Pomfrey saw I was awake and came over to me swiftly leaving the girl in the corner. I think she was a member of the Gryffindor team although I couldn't remember her name. I let Madam Pomfrey fuss over me a bit, telling me that I would be out in no time. She fed me a potion which tasted awful and then left swiftly heading in the direction of her office. I lay back and closed my eyes letting my mind wander back to the game. I could see her face at the moment I fell. I couldn't believe that my brother had broken my arm. I remembered clearly the sickening sound of my arm snapping at the elbow. I shuddered slightly and tried not to think of it. It was then that I heard raised voices.

They seemed to be coming from the other side of the doors that led to the hallway. I focused trying to listen. I could only hear muffled words that sounded like someone shouting. A boy and a girl I decided listening to the different pitches in voice. Just then Madam Pomfrey came out of her office and left the ward. She left the door slightly ajar.

'I don't care if it was an accident, Sirius. You broke his bloody arm,' said a voice I knew all too well raised in frustration. 'Get in there and see him.'

'He won't want to see me.'

'Oh stop feeling so guilty. I'm sure he'll understand that it wasn't personal. It just Quidditch for crying out loud. It's not like you shot an Unforgivable at him.'

'Serena, why don't you ever get it that my brother and I are now worlds apart?'

I heard her sigh and my heart leapt a little.

'Sirius, I get it,' she said her tone now softer. I could imagine her standing opposite him with her arms folded. 'He's your little brother and no matter how far you have grown apart he's still your little brother. You were close once.'

'I was also close to Bellatrix at one time,' Sirius joked.

'Well, I suppose,' she conceded the point. 'Still Regulus isn't Bellatrix. I know James doesn't understand this screwed up relationship that you and your brother have but I know that you care about him.'

Sirius didn't reply. He was probably standing there looking at the ground with his hands shoved into his trouser pockets. I knew all too well the expression he would have on his face. I felt slightly elated. Serena was known for never getting angry. I had never seen her raise her voice at my brother before or Potter or any of her friends. She wasn't even horrid to the Slytherin's. Although she did have an on-going feud with Bellatrix. Still Bellatrix normally provoked her.

I shifted a little in my bed as there was silence outside. They were still out there. I could almost feel the tension between them. Sirius sighed.

'Get in there,' she ordered firmly.

The door was pushed open and Sirius walked in. His black hair was in his eyes again with that casual elegance that we both had. It was effortless. I turned my head before he looked up to see me. I didn't want him to know that I had heard them talking. I could hear his footsteps getting closer and closer. I didn't know if I even wanted to talk to him. After all, he hadn't been much of a big brother to me over the last few years. He barely spoke to me and all I really wanted was his approval. I just couldn't give up our parents as well. I felt constantly stuck in the middle between them and Sirius and yet I couldn't give him up entirely. He was my big brother. I looked up to him even when he acted like I no longer existed.

'Reggie?' he asked cautiously as his footsteps came to a halt by my bed. I turned to look at him. He looked guilty and for a second I felt a flash of triumph but the next second it was gone.

'Sirius,' I replied coldly. He wasn't going to get off the hook that easily. I glanced behind him at the door which he had left open. I had hoped she would come in behind him. I was certain that she was still there hovering by the doorway, listening. She was nosy thing.

'Look, I didn't mean to hurt you.'

'Really?' I replied sarcasm dripping from my voice. 'Well you did a pretty good job of avoiding it.'

He looked away from me. Here with just me and him he wasn't the big macho man that he was in front of his friends. Here he was just a boy. Here he was just my brother.

'I was just trying to distract you.'

I swallowed back the lump that had suddenly appeared like a wedge in my throat. I wasn't quite sure what to say to him. I was angry at him. I wanted to be angry with him. I wanted him to know how much it hurt. Yet I couldn't stay mad at him. Another family trait, I supposed.

'I feel awful.'

'You should.'

'Reggie, don't be like that,' he said, his tone almost pleading. 'It was really an accident. Why exactly would I want to break your arm? You're my brother and no matter what you may think I'll always want to look out for you.'

I really don't know why I gave into him so easily but I smiled. Not a big smile but just curling my lips up slightly at the corners. Every time he had ended up in the hospital wing I had sneaked down to check on him. I just wanted to make sure he was all right. I worried about him after all.

'You know,' he said seriously looking a little awkward, 'you're really good even James admitted it. You had him worried for a moment.'

I scowled. What did I care what Potter thought? Sirius' laugh erupted from within him at the expression on my face.

'Okay so I know you don't care about that. I'm glad however that all you got was a broken arm. You were at least thirty feet in the air.'

My mind was fuzzy at this point in the events. I frowned slightly trying to remember but all I can see is her face mingled with the realisation that Sirius had hit that bludger towards me deliberately.

'What happened?'

A smirk came over Sirius' face.

'Oh I don't think you'll like it,' he told me pursing his lips in thought. 'Mother might completely freak if she found out.'

Merlin, he is irritating sometimes. I think he must have read my thoughts in my expression.

'A friend of mine was quick off the mark and had you hovering in midair before you'd even fallen five feet.'

I could see a look of pride on his face.

'Your girlfriend by any chance?' I asked confused as to the meaning of the look.

Sirius laughed again.

'Not exactly,' he said slowly.

'Well …'

Suddenly it dawned on me. Her face shouting and her wand in her hand. She was standing already in motion with the spell ready in her head, ready to save me. She was Hogwarts' smartest witch after all. I looked at Sirius with a surprised look that made Sirius laugh again.

'You must be horrified,' said Sirius shaking his head. 'A Black being saved by a White.'

I didn't say anything. How could I tell him that I wasn't horrified? I doubted that he even noticed that I had spoken to her on several different occasions. I doubt he would even notice that I liked her even if I sent her a giant card covered in love hearts. My own heart was in my throat. She had saved me. _Get a grip Regulus. She would have done the same for anyone else._ I ignored the sensible voice in my head telling me that and let the excitement bubble up inside me. I knew that I shouldn't feel like this. My parents would be horrified if they ever knew. The only thing worse to my family that dating a muggle would be dating a member of the White family.

'How is he?'

Her voice jerked me back from my thoughts and I saw her coming up to stand beside Sirius. She hadn't changed much since I had first met her. Her long brown curls still bounced when she walked, her green eyes were still as striking as ever and her smile could still make my knees jelly. The only thing that had changed was her height. She was only two inches shorter than me, quite tall for a girl.

'He's all right, 'Rena,' Sirius assured her as she turned concerned eyes to me. Just then Sirius put his arm around her neck pulling her towards him and planted a kiss on her temple. I could hear the whispered "thank you" and I felt the jealousy swell up inside me. I don't know why I was jealous. They were only friends after all and it wasn't like I could ever make a move on her. I wasn't brave enough to be disowned by my parents for Sirius' sake. I certainly wasn't brave enough to tell them I'd fallen for a White.

''Rena, meet my little brother Regulus,' said Sirius not removing his arm from around her neck. Serena smiled slightly mischief still dancing in her eyes as she looked at him before turning back to me. She rolled her eyes slightly in Sirius' direction making me smile. I knew what that roll of the eyes meant. I knew Sirius would have no idea that we had ever spoken before. Her voice was soft when she spoke and I could hear her concern. It made my heart soar.

'Hi Reggie.'


End file.
